Have You Noticed a Quiet Script Shaping How You Show Up at Work?
Some of the scripts we live by are written early, often without our awareness. They can guide us quietly for years, shaping how we work, lead, and relate to ourselves and others.
Mine was there from the beginning: Be perfect.
I was a straight A student, a high achiever. But I wasn’t good at art, so Dad stepped in to do my homework for me.
He didn’t mean harm. He just wanted to spare me the disappointment he once felt.
Dad came close to becoming a fighter pilot. It was down to him and one other candidate. The panel couldn’t fault his knowledge.
But the final hurdle was his school grades. He’d coasted through school, thinking he’d catch up later.
The dream was over.
When excellence serves us well
For me, Pride, my passion for excellence, has often served me well.
When I ran my first marathon in 2012, I trained over 2,500km. I studied pacing, nutrition, and every element of long-distance running extensively. My coach later admitted he didn’t think I’d finish, based on my early self-talk in my training journal. But what he didn’t know was that Perseverance is one of my top strengths. I crossed the finish line eight minutes faster than my goal time.
That same sense of Pride has shaped the way I work. The professionals and leaders I support aren’t just names in a calendar. They receive the best of my attention, thought, and care.
I value thoroughness, depth, and integrity. When guided by care rather than pressure, that can be a real gift.
When a strength stretches too far
But like many of our strengths, Pride can overextend. And when it tips too far, it becomes something else.
Sometimes, Pride can shift into Perfectionism. And when that happens, my sense of mission can go quiet.
The signs will be familiar to many of us:
I hesitate to share something unless it’s polished
I delay decisions, unsure if they’re "right enough"
I downplay what I offer, even when I know it can make a difference
These moments aren’t always loud. They often show up as over-preparing, second-guessing, or pushing things back just a little longer until they feel "ready."
In my Strengths Profile, I see it clearly. When Time Optimiser and Action drop into the Learned Behaviours quadrant, it signals I’m no longer energised. I’m running on responsibility rather than energy, doing things because I should, not because they align with what matters most.
In leadership roles, these quiet scripts don’t just shape individual behaviour; they shape how decisions are made, and where responsibility gathers.
A strength overplayed can be the difference between:
Pride versus Perfectionism
Service versus Superhero
Social Responsibility versus People-Pleasing
The power of the pause
When these inner scripts show up, thoughts like “I must be perfect” or “I’m not enough” often stir up anxiety or tension.
Coach and author Martha Beck suggests that trying to control or suppress these patterns rarely works. Instead, she encourages us to respond with gentle curiosity, acceptance and creativity. This shift helps move us away from fear and toward more resourceful responses.
Similarly, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) reminds us that we can't control our thoughts. They may still appear, especially in moments of stretch or uncertainty. But we don’t have to let them take the lead. We can notice them, name them, and still choose to move in the direction that matters most.
So when an old script resurfaces, what would it look like to pause? To notice the internal pressure and respond with something different: something that feels more energising or self-honouring.
Maybe that’s curiosity. Maybe it’s compassion. Or even a small act of courage.
Can we instead take a breath and gently ask: Whose voice is this? Do I still need to follow it?
It is in that pause, that quiet space between reaction and response, where something new becomes possible.
Bringing quiet beliefs into the light
Sometimes, beneath the patterns we notice in ourselves, there are quiet, inherited beliefs. Beliefs like “I must always be available,” or “If I can do it, I should.”
They’re often subtle, shaped by experience, culture, or care. And over time, they can influence how we lead, relate, and show up, sometimes fuelling strengths that serve us, and sometimes tipping into patterns that leave us depleted.
Tools like Strengths Profile can offer a gentle lens for reflection, a way to notice patterns, preferences, and possibilities.
Not to diagnose or label, but to notice what’s energising, what’s feeling stretched, and where there might be space to realign.
If you’ve been sensing a familiar internal story shaping your choices, this may be worth exploring with curiosity.
I support people to notice these quiet scripts without judgement, and to choose which ones still deserve a place in how they lead and work, through individual strengths-based coaching.
Because when a script is named, it no longer has to run the show.
